Saturday, July 23, 2011
The other night at dinner, Sushi our dog was begging our maid for food. The maid gave her food. However Sravanthi got really angry with Sushi and gave her a shouting. Sushi slinked away and hid. But Sravanthi couldnt handle this and called her back, gave her ice cream, petted her and then continued her dinner.
I observed that when a pet or an animal does something we dont want them to do, we do rebuke them but we forget it as fast. In fact it stays with us only as fond memories. However when a human in a relationship with us, does something we dont like, we hold it against them for a long time. We seem to have forgotten, but if you observe these instances keep coming up as flashes in our memory. Why is this? The common factor between both interactions is me, myself. So why cant I treat the human "mistakes" just like that, drop them and move on?
I have known people to not talk to each other for years. People may change but the issues linger on.
Our guruji explained this quite well; When our pet does any "mistake" even repeatedly, we internally understand that its not a deliberate act of malice towards me or my family, its unconscious. We can correct this by training, but that doesnt make it a conscious response, it only makes it a conditioned response.
When a human repeatedly performs the same "mistake", we feel its a deliberate act. Its also to be noted that most actions by humans are out of habit (conditioned actions). But our feeling is that "this person is not able to get it". We probably need to understand and observe that most actions by most humans are as unconscious and as conditioned, as a pets. Additionally, the focus cannot be on the other, it has to be on self. The other is my mirror image.
By holding on, we are harming ourselves more.