I became aware of this tendancy of mine to do things for people, make them comfortable, put them at ease, reduce their pain. It was "my way of expressing love" for them. While I have been doing this all my life (not sure where this tendancy/habit started), recently I actually saw how its actually crippling them. This is a selfish move on my part, I am doing this for my self, I am doing this to feel good, I am doing this to avoid conflict, I am doing this to distract others, quite unaware of how much damage its doing to the other and to myself.
But then, giving to someone and seeing them smile or use your gifts is so gratifying, right? Is it not what we are taught, give, share and that will bring happiness?
So there is a distinction which is kind of sinking in now:
If we are doing things for people such that it will make them happy or will make you happy, or make them dependant on you, etc...probably its a disservice to both.
If we are doing things for others out of being happy and peaceful and which ENABLE them to feel happy deep down (e.g. you help them discover their true calling, help them discover their worth, help them realise how much potential they have to help themselves go to another level...), then its love. Then supporting them monetarily will be to help them work on their potential. Said another way, supporting another is to help them be free and not a dependant.
Remember, however that the sun doesnt rise from your ass, so we should not claim credit to make others successful. Do your part since thats happening through you. It is Gods will and doing.
At another level, examine the motive behind your own actions, and do it only if its out of love. It will help you grow.
1 comment:
Wonderful post! It's making me think about my contributions to people and the consequent expectations I make while helping them. Definitely food for thought!!
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