Disturbance

I am reminded of a session I attended with guruji Sri Sri Ravishanker. This was a public session to introduce "art of living". During the Q&A session, a lot of people came up to guruji and ask for help with their problems like, inability to walk, family troubles, chronic medical problems etc. After listening to them, Guruji only gave one piece of advice, i.e. do your pranayam daily. At that point I found that advice quite disconnected.

Similary, when during our SSY programs, if any student is to ask our guruji about solutions to their problems (in this forum the problems presented are in the relationship, family and business zone and not much related to health), guruji would (after listening to them) eventually give them a common advice i.e. to be in silence (not to be confused with not speaking). Again I couldnt find the connection.

As of late during my disturbed states, I have observed myself "thinking" constantly about how to handle the "situations, people who are causing me distress". My mind is busy being angry with these people, forming conversations which I need to have these people, threaten them, show my authority over them, tell them what I think of them, correct them, fearing for the future, brooding over the past, etc.

Now I guess I would have been doing this all my life, but unconsciously.

It hasnt helped at all. Or else I wouldnt be distressed at all. I wouldnt attract toxic situations in my life. Why is it then that I go through ups and downs in my moods, my energy, my enthusiasm, my happiness, etc.

I now realise the value of the advice of the Guru. They are actually saying that you cannot solve the problems in the body and mind at that level. The constant stream of thoughts is creating the reality around you. And you are attempting to solve the problem created by thoughts by more thinking. Stop, and do your pranayam, and meditation. Go down to zero.

But don't I have to solve the problems I am facing, or confront a person who has hurt me, caused me a loss, etc.

No, going by the law of attraction, please note that these toxic and distressing situations (reality) are caused by an equally disturbed mind. So no point in using the same distressed mind to resolve this issue. Instead go beyond that and silence your mind. This will automatically lead to calmer, prosperous exteriors. Nothing needs to be done except practice of silence (being mindful) and breath awareness. This will reduce cluttering thoughts which will result in a reality which you actually want from within.

Osho also always said, that if you are angry, distressed, get away from other people since you will spread this to them. Go and hide somewhere and come out only when you are calm and centered. In hiding, do some dynamic meditation to rid yourself of the toxic energy by beating a pillow, doing physical activity, dance etc. Your anger, disturbance is your own. Nobody else can cause this. Now I understand why he invented the dynamic meditation.

Helping or Supporting someone

I became aware of this tendancy of mine to do things for people, make them comfortable, put them at ease, reduce their pain. It was "my way of expressing love" for them. While I have been doing this all my life (not sure where this tendancy/habit started), recently I actually saw how its actually crippling them. This is a selfish move on my part, I am doing this for my self, I am doing this to feel good, I am doing this to avoid conflict, I am doing this to distract others, quite unaware of how much damage its doing to the other and to myself.

But then, giving to someone and seeing them smile or use your gifts is so gratifying, right? Is it not what we are taught, give, share and that will bring happiness?

So there is a distinction which is kind of sinking in now:

If we are doing things for people such that it will make them happy or will make you happy, or make them dependant on you, etc...probably its a disservice to both.

If we are doing things for others out of being happy and peaceful and which ENABLE them to feel happy deep down (e.g. you help them discover their true calling, help them discover their worth, help them realise how much potential they have to help themselves go to another level...), then its love. Then supporting them monetarily will be to help them work on their potential. Said another way, supporting another is to help them be free and not a dependant.

Remember, however that the sun doesnt rise from your ass, so we should not claim credit to make others successful. Do your part since thats happening through you. It is Gods will and doing.

At another level, examine the motive behind your own actions, and do it only if its out of love. It will help you grow.

On Forgiving

The other night at dinner, Sushi our dog was begging our maid for food. The maid gave her food. However Sravanthi got really angry with Sushi and gave her a shouting. Sushi slinked away and hid. But Sravanthi couldnt handle this and called her back, gave her ice cream, petted her and then continued her dinner.

I observed that when a pet or an animal does something we dont want them to do, we do rebuke them but we forget it as fast. In fact it stays with us only as fond memories. However when a human in a relationship with us, does something we dont like, we hold it against them for a long time. We seem to have forgotten, but if you observe these instances keep coming up as flashes in our memory. Why is this? The common factor between both interactions is me, myself. So why cant I treat the human "mistakes" just like that, drop them and move on?

I have known people to not talk to each other for years. People may change but the issues linger on.

Our guruji explained this quite well; When our pet does any "mistake" even repeatedly, we internally understand that its not a deliberate act of malice towards me or my family, its unconscious. We can correct this by training, but that doesnt make it a conscious response, it only makes it a conditioned response.

When a human repeatedly performs the same "mistake", we feel its a deliberate act. Its also to be noted that most actions by humans are out of habit (conditioned actions). But our feeling is that "this person is not able to get it". We probably need to understand and observe that most actions by most humans are as unconscious and as conditioned, as a pets. Additionally, the focus cannot be on the other, it has to be on self. The other is my mirror image.

By holding on, we are harming ourselves more.